Trials of the heart
by Canis et Loupe
Summary: What will Miaka do when Hotohori confesses his love to her once yet this time Tamahome is currently under Yui's command. Will Miaka choose Hotohori or Tamahome? Set after Fushigi Yugi manga vol. 5 Bandit. No flames! IChapter 2 up! Severe Nakago bashing !
1. Soul's Refrain

Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yugi.

Author's note: I'm sorry that the story sucks I'm really sick right now. The song is Tamashii no RUFURAN from.

Oh yeah this is set after Miaka comes back from Qu-Dong when she tried to retrieve Tamahome. I know it happened differently in the Manga and in the anime so bare with me!

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Watashi Ni kaeri nasai / Please come back to me,

Kioku WO tadori / Following memories

Yasashisa to yume no minamoto e / to the source of gentleness and dreams

Mo ichido hoshi Ni hikare / In order to be born, and shine to the stars

Umareru tame Ni / once again...

Tamashii no RUFURAN / Soul's Refrain

"Miaka! You are back !" Emperor Xing Shu (a/n: I forgot Hotohori's Japanese name so I'll use the Chinese one.) said as he watched his priest look very glum. 

"Hi Hotohori." Miaka smiled and walked towards her room in the vast palace of the Konan Empire. 

" What do you think is wrong with Miaka?" Nuriko asked as he watched Miaka begin to run to her room.

" I am not sure ."

Miaka walked into her room she didn't bother taking her blood stained clothes off she just threw herself onto the bed. Tears had been staining her cheeks for hours. Miaka's body racked with pain as her eyes began to flood as she recalled the evening's events.

*Earlier that night*

"It's your letter! I've kept it safe!" Miaka said as she pulled out the letter Tamahome had written her a few days ago, "You said you'd be back. You said, 'WO AI NI' 'I love you' ."

"I...wrote this?"

"That's right! Look at it!" Tamahome looked at the paper.

" 'WO AI NI'..." He looked at the little piece of paper with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Tamahome!" Miaka said as she saw Tamahome smile.

"Never heard of it." Tamahome ripped the letter into shreds.

"I believed in you...all this time..." Miaka thought to herself just before tried to kill her only to have Tasuki save her.

* Flashes a little forward *

"_No matter how much I love him...how much I scream for him...I can't reach Tamahome now!"_

"Goodbye..."

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Aoi kade Ni tsutsumareta suhada ga/ your naked skin wrapped in blue shadows

Toki no naka de shizuka Ni furute'ru/ Trembles quietly in this moment.

Inochi no yukue WO toikakeru you ni/ Your fingertip searches to me

Yubisaki WA watashi WO motomeru/ As if asking for the whereabouts of life

Miaka heard a knock on her door. She ignored it. She wanted to be left alone. She wanted to cry in her misery. Overall she wanted the love of her life back, she wanted Tamahome. She rolled over and faced the wall. She heard the one of the double doors open slowly and footsteps enter the room. 

"Lady Miaka?" A chambermaid asked timidly, "Emperor Xing Shu would like to see you. In his chambers or in yours if you prefer. The Emperor said it had to do with the celestial warrior Tamahome." Miaka sat up and dried her eyes. She cleared her throat and stood up.

"I'll go to his chambers. When does he want to see me?"

"I believe he said 'Whenever she's ready.' I think?" Miaka smiled as the nervous chamber maid lead the way to Hotohori's chambers, which she already knew the way to. They stopped at the large double doors.

"I can handle it from here." Miaka said kindly as she placed a hand on the maids' shoulder.

"Yes my Lady." Miaka watched the maid run off to somewhere. Miaka sighed and knocked on the door.

"Who is it and state your business!" A voice from inside called out.

"It's me Miaka!"

"Come in!" Miaka walked in to see not Emperor Xing Shu but Suzaku celestial warrior Hotohori. She smiled at his casual appearance.

"Hiya Hotohori!" Miaka let herself in and closed the heavy door behind her.

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Dakishimeteta unmei no anata wa/ The you embraced by fate

Kisetsu Ni saku maru de hakanai hana/ Blooms in season like an ephemeral flower

Kibou no nioi WO mune Ni nokoshite/ Leaving behind the scent of hope on your chest

Chiri isogu azayaku-na sugata de/ Scattering hurriedly in splendid form

"Please Miaka stop." Hotohori said as he looked out the window he was sitting next to.

"Stop what?" Miaka walked over to Hotohori who stood up.

"Miaka I know that you are in deep distress right now. There is no need for such an act." 

"Hotohori..."

"As much as I want to comfort you I cannot!" Hotohori punched the wall, "Miaka I love you very much! But your heart belongs to another. One whom I envy greatly." Hotohori embraced Miaka tightly.

"Hotohori...please...stop." Hotohori pulled Miaka closer to his body.

"Miaka I will not let go until I tell you how I fully feel about you!" Miaka was taken back by his tone of voice, "Miaka ever since I saw you in the street while you were asking for one of my jewels I have been in love with you. I envy Tamahome for taking your heart away. Yet I cannot see why you still love him even though he broke a promise to you!" Miaka could hear his voice begin to break.

"Miaka why! Why do you not love me instead!" Miaka could see that he was beginning to cry.

_"Why don't I? I mean he could give me everything! I know he would never break a promise to me."_

"Miaka please consider my offer. Miaka just for one day even if you are acting please love me for one day like you love Tamahome!"

"Hotohori...please don't cry over me..." Miaka said barely above a whisper as she wiped a tear away with her the backside of her hand.

"Miaka I love you!" In Miaka's arms there no longer was a cool, calm and colleted young man who resided over the southern kingdom of the Konan Empire, but instead of and Emperor, Miaka held a young man who was deeply in love with her. Hotohori's tears began to dry as he laid his head down on the priestess's chest. Miaka could feel his heart beat.

"Miaka...do you know why my heartbeats?" There was a brief period of silence, in which Hotohori had let Miaka go. She was sitting on his bed watching him stare out the window that had a beautiful landscape of the royal garden.

"Hotohori..."

"It is because I live to protect the ones I love most," He turned towards her but his expression did not change, "Miaka I am truly sorry for putting you in this position. Please forgive me." There was an awkward period of silence yet again. 

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watashi ni kaeri nasai/ please come back to me

umareru mae ni/ before you are born

anata ga sugoshita daichi e to/ please come back to my arms

kono te ni kaeri nasai/ to meet again

kiseki wa okoru yo nando demo/ miracles do happen, however many times

Tamashii no RUFURAN/ Soul's refrain

_"Miaka you twit! Can't you see that he is so totally in love with you? Just for one day Miaka make him happy! Even if you **are** pretending. This man has protected you so many times when Tamahome couldn't. You know that **he** is true to his word,"_ Miaka was now having a mental debate with herself, "_Hotohori would never say that he loves you then turn around the second trying to kill you! Then again Tamahome was under Yui's influence and that diedu stuff. But Hotohori would never say that he won't leave your side then when you wake up to find out that he left to your former best friend's country!"_ Hotohori looked over at her and saw her shaking her head then the next second later nodding. She finally let out a sigh then looked up Hotohori. She smiled as she saw the warmth that never left his eyes.

"Hotohori?"

"Yes?" He looked at her with hope in his eyes.

"I thought about what you said...I might consider it...just for one day of course nothing longer..." Words soon became unsaid as Hotohori scooped Miaka up in his arms. Miaka suddenly felt oddly warm and safe as if the war outside the Konan Empire walls would never effect her.

"Miaka...you have made me the world's happiest Emperor...no the world's happiest man!" He twirled her around as his heart filled with such a great joy that words could not even begin to express the happiness, and the joy he was feeling at that very moment.

"Hotohori..."

"Yes Miaka?" Hotohori couldn't believe she was laying her head on his chest and smiling up at him.

"I think...that I could grow to love you," Miaka gently kissed his cheek. Hotohori felt strange sudden rushes of blood go to his head, "Hotohori...you're blushing!"

"It seems that I am!" Hotohori said as laughter filled the room.

"Hotohori tomorrow I will love you like I loved Tamahome."

The next day

"What should I wear Nuriko? This or this?" Miaka asked as she placed two different outfits on the bed.

"I don't know what's the occasion?" The purple haired Seishi asked as she watched her miko dance around.

"Nuriko, I know you're going to kill me but..."

"Miaka! Is it true you promised to love the Emperor like you love Tamahome for one day no da!" Chichiri popped at of no where no less than a yard tall when he was usually five foot eight.

"You what!" Nuriko bellowed as he watched Miaka take cover behind Chichiri who was now five foot eight.

"I did it as a way of saying thank you to him! It's only for one day!" After convincing Nuriko it was the best thing she could do Miaka put on a button up long sleeved white shirt and a schoolgirl like navy blue skirt. Instead of having the usual two buns she decided she would let her hair down for today. She headed straight for Hotohori's room. Forgetting she was supposed to knock she just opened the door. She saw a lot of women crowded around some one or something.

"Please ladies stop! I am expecting a visitor! I can dress my self!" Miaka heard a very familiar voice say. Suddenly the crowd of women headed all at once straight to the door. Miaka dodged to the right as the swarms of women meet her head on. Finally after they all had left Miaka looked at Hotohori who was sitting nude with only a towel around his waist. Hotohori turned around and saw Miaka there. He realized he was nude and ran behind the changing screen. He appeared moments later wearing his outfit, which he usually wore while he was acting as the Emperor.

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Inoru you ni mabuta tojita toki ni/ when eyes are closed as if in prayer

sekai wa tada yami no soko ni kieu/ the world simply disappears into the darkness

soredemo kodou wa mata ugokidasu/ even so, my heartbeat starts again

kagiri are eien wo sagashite/ looking for a bounded eternity 

Watashi ni kaeri nasai/ please come back to me

kioku wa tadori/ following memories

yasashisa to yume no minamoto e/ to the source of gentleness and dreams.

anata mo kaeri nasai/ you, too please come back

aishiau tame/ so we can love each other

kokoro mo karada mo kurikaesu/ heart and body repeat

tamashii no RUFURAN/Soul's refrain

Miaka spent the entire day with Hotohori. Doing the things she and Tamahome used to do. She was by his side during meetings. She sat right beside him during breakfast, lunch and dinner. She held his hand as the walked through the palace gardens. Miaka even gave him a pop kiss when he looked frustrated with his work. She even helped him out of his imperial wardrobe. Miaka began to think that she was falling in love with him. Hotohori and Miaka sat in his room, playing mah-jongg when Hotohori had just kissed her.

"Ho...Hotohori..."

"Miaka thank you...I know you don't really love me but today must be the greatest day of my life. I wanted to give you this as a thank you gift. Nuriko said you might like it." Hotohori pulled out a little jewelry box from his jacket. He handed it to Miaka who looked up at him then down at the gift. She opened it and inside was a little necklace with a black stone pendant. She flipped the pendant over and inscribed on the back was a red phoenix outlined in gold.

"Thank you! It's beautiful!" Miaka hugged Hotohori. He hugged her back. 

_" She may be hugging now but will she even treat you the same way tomorrow? Remember her heart belongs to Tamahome not you. The best thing you can do is just let her decide who she really loves. For now just stand by her side and if she needs some one, be there."_

"Hotohori were you listening?"

"Huh...oh I am sorry Miaka."

"I said thank you! I'll never take it off! I better be going now! Thanks Hotohori!"

_" You hear that Tamahome? Someone else loves me. If you don't come back soon I'm not so sure if it will be you I love."_

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watashi ni kaeri nasai/ please come back to me,

umareru mae ni/ before you are born

anata ga sugoshita daichi e to/ to the earth you spent your days on

kono te ni kaeri nasai/ please come back into my arms

meguriau tame/ to meet again

kiseki wa okoru yo nandodemo/ Miracles do happen, however many times

Tamashii no RUFURAN/ Soul's Refrain

Author's note: Sorry I know it sucked I ran out of ideas. I hate being sick! Being sick gives me a worse case of writer's block than before! No!!!


	2. Everlasting Story

Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yugi.

Author's note: Thank you every one who reviewed the first chapter! It's because of the people who actually review that some author's continue to write even if it only five reviews! Oh yeah a note on something you'll see in the story from now on. If you something in _italics_ then it's the characters conscience, but for Miaka the italics mean she's thinking about Tamahome and if its _in underlined italics_ then she's thinking about Hotohori. Okay? I just wanted to let you guys know.

Miaka had just stepped out of Hotohori's room when she realized something...she was falling in love with Hotohori. She shook her head.

_" Miaka what are you thinking! What about Tamahome? Miaka you know you've always loved Hotohori! No I haven't! I love Tamahome and only Tamahome! Really? Then don't tell me you didn't like being with Hotohori especially when he kissed you." _Miaka's mind couldn't decide whom she really loved. She leaned against Hotohori's room door. She sighed.

"You're kidding! I'll go tell him no da!" Miaka could hear Chichiri say. She couldn't help but wonder what he was talking about. Just as she was about to walk towards where she heard Chichiri, she heard someone say...

"Hotohori-sama! *Whisper* is back *whisper* Tasuki's distracting him from * whisper*." Chichiri said indistinctively.

"All right bring Mitsukakae, Nuriko and Chiriko." Chichiri walked literally through the door causing Miaka to scream because she didn't see him there.

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hoshi furu oka no ue ni/ I've been standing alone for some time

hitori de tachi-tsukushita/ on a hill under the falling stars.

hitotsudzutsu mado ni tooru akari ga/ One by one, lights shine through the window

daremo ga egao no oku/ hiding their pain

itmai wo kakaeta mama/ deep beneath a smile,

ikite-iru yo/ everyone lives on,

kono hoshi no naka de/ amongst these stars.

"Oh Miaka-sama I didn't know you where there no da!" Miaka could see that Chichiri wasn't wearing his mask, you could see the scar on his face. Miaka never really knew just how he got that scar. Chichiri ran off not an another word said leaving Miaka to her thoughts once again. (A/n: I love you guys who are reading this you make me so happy!) Miaka's body went into autopilot; she went straight to Tamahome's old room with out even thinking. On her way there she saw Nuriko in what looked like a battle wardrobe. 

"Nuriko where are you going?"

"Miaka you must stay in side of the palace!" Nuriko ran out a squadron of soldiers behind him. Chiriko ran up to Miaka pale faced.

"Miaka! Hide!" The newest shichiseishi pushed her into the closest room and blocked the door, "Gomen! Miaka!"

"Let me out! What's going! Who's here?" Miaka pounded the door, but her cries went unnoticed. She realized whose room she was in. She was in Tamahome's room. 

"Miaka?" A rather familiar voice asked. Miaka looked up her sight blurred due to the incoming tears.

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umarete kiete-itta/ There are thousands of stories

ikusen no monogatari-tachi/ which have come and gone

haruka too hi no kioku/ the old distant memories

mune ni kizamareta/ are engraved in my heart.

hitomi tojite omoidasu/ I close my eyes and remember them...

ima koko ni watashi ga iru/ I am right here, right now.

kanjite Ever Lasting story/ Feel it. Everlasting Story

"Who's there?" Miaka rubbed her eyes but she saw nothing when she opened them. She felt strong arms embrace her from behind.

"It's me." A voice cooed in her ear. Miaka recognized the voice imiditiely.

"Tamahome?" Miaka turned around and saw him there, she remembered what happened last time she was with him, "Hotohori help me!" 

"Miaka what's wrong?" Miaka pushed herself away and ran to the door. She pounded as hard as she could on the door.

"Hotohori!" Tamahome watched Miaka scream as if someone were trying to kill her.

"Miaka..." Tamahome said as he pulled her towards him despite the fact that she was now pounding her fists into his chest.

"Get away from me! You aren't Tamahome! Hotohori Help!"

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watashi wo tsutsumikonde/ Envelope me,

tsutawaru ai no chikara/ power of the love that I feel...

mune no kizu wo iyashite kureru no/ heal the wounds in my heart

deai soshite wakare/ Whenever people meet, then part,

itsu datte guuzen ja nai/ it's not by chance.

Hotohori heard someone call his name. He felt his character glowing. He knew immeaditily that Miaka was in danger. He ran towards where her screams were coming from. He saw a door that was blocked he sensed that something or someone was in there. He unseathed his swords and cut the lock. He kicked the door open and saw someone on top of some body else.

"Hotohori!" Instantly Hotohori kicked the man off. Miaka ran into his arms crying hysterically. 

"It's Tamahome!" Was all that Hotohori could make out. Hotohori looked up and saw what looked like Tamahome holding a sword over his head with a sort of glaze in his eyes. Hotohori dodged the swing with Miaka still in his arms. The character on his neck glowed such a brilliant red it nearly filled the entire room. Hotohori grabbed his sword and stood up. 

"What you did to Miaka was unacceptable! I will never forgive you for what you just tried!" Hotohori lunged for Tamahome who just barely missed the blade. The blade caught the edge of his shirt. Miaka watched her eyes filling with tears as she watched the only two men she ever really loved fight.

"Stop please!" Miaka cried. It was no use neither Tamahome nor Hotohori were the men they used to be. Nuriko followed by Tasuki and Chichiri. ran into the room. Tasuki ran straight to Miaka. Who was on the floor crying.

"Miaka! What's wrong are ya hurt?" 

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donna kurushii toki demo/ In any kind of sad times,

sasaerarete-iru/ I am supported

kitto onaji omoi wo/ I always believe

wakearu hito ga iru to/ I'll have someone

itsumo shinjite/ who will share the same feelings.

"...please stop..."

"Stop what Miaka?" Miaka's now tear filled eyes meet Tasuki's alert amber ones. He could see sorrow in her eyes.

"Tasuki please stop them!" Tasuki hugged Miaka as her tears finally got the best of her.

"Your Highness please stop!" Nuriko grabbed Hotohori's hand as Tasuki tried to restrain Tamahome.

"Nuriko that isn't Tamahome!" Hotohori yelled as he pushed Nuriko away. He lunged straight for Tamahome's heart.

"Tamahome!" Miaka yelled as she tried to get of Tasuki's hold.

"Miaka stop!" Tasuki said as Tamahome fell to the floor, "Chichiri grab 'er!"

Tasuki pulled out his harisen and grinned. He ran towards Tamahome, jumped up into the air.

"Rekka Shinen!"

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ima mo me no mae ni tsudzuku/ Now, before my eyes

chizu ni nai michi wo/ lies a path which isn't on the map

zutto aruite-yuku kara/ So I walk it all the way

sono sake no mirai no tame/ And for the sake of the future it takes me to,

egaku Ever lasting story/ I write an Everlasting Story

Miaka' s eyes widened as she saw scarlet red flames engulf the man whom she thought was Tamahome. Miaka tried to get to the one who she thought was the man she loved but she was held back by her own seishi. She closed her eyes tight when she heard the heart wrenching screams of the man she loved. She opened her eyes to see a blonde man holding his shoulder and side not Tamahome. Miaka knew him. It was a Seiryu seishi, by the name of Nakago.

"Nakago! I knew it!" Tasuki ran over and began literally punch the guts out of him, "Ya' lil' bastard! Don't ya' know ya' don' mess with Suzaku's priestess?"

"Tasuki stop!" Miaka yelled as she ran out of Chichiri's arms. She ran up to the man, "Nakago where's Yui?"

"Mistress Yui sent me here. That is all you will get from me." Tasuki punched the man.

"Tasuki stop!" Miaka yelled.

"The asshole deserves it!"

"Tasuki I will see to it that he gets the punishment he deserves." Hotohori said as he stepped up beside Miaka. 

"Like hell ya' will!" 

"Tasuki!"

" Guys look!" Nuriko said as he watched Nakago disapperate.

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Later that night

Miaka went to Hotohori's room, she needed to talk to him. She got changed out of her clothes and put on her pajamas.

"Hoto-kun?" Miaka said as she gently pushed the door open. Hotohori greeted her with a smile.

"Yes Miaka?"

"Is it ok if I sleep in here tonight? I'm afraid of being attacked again." Hotohori saw a rather strange shyness in Miaka's eyes. He noticed that her cheek's were tinted pink, natrually.

"Miaka it would not matter to me as long as you are safe."

"Oh thank you Hoto-kun!" Miaka hugged him tightly, "But where will I sleep?"

"I can take the couch over there," Hotohori pointed out the large couch next to the changing screen, "You may of course have the bed."

"Hoto! I can't let you take the couch in your own room!" Miaka walked over to him and placed her head on his chest causing him to falter, "I don't mind sharing. Besides I realized when you saved me that I live for you and you live for me. Hotohori...I think I'm in love with you. Actually I know this is sudden but I am in love with you."

Hotohori couldn't believe what he had just heard. Did Miaka just say that she thought she loved him? Did Miaka just say that she loved him? His mind was racing he didn't know what to do. Suddenly a thought came to him. He picked her up and placed her on the bed. He placed soft kisses on her lips.

"Miaka...will you marry me?"

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watashi wa anata no tame/ I live for you.

anata wa watashi no tame/ You live for me.

ikite-iru yo/ We live

kono hoshi no naka de/ amongst these stars

Author's note: Well what do you guys think? Thank you all for reviewing? I'm so happy there are Miaka and Hotohori fans! I feel weird writing this since I am a Miaka and Tasuki/ Miaka and Tamahome fan as well. Oh well I'll write them later. Oh yeah this is for you my Hoto-Koi! Hehe Hoto-koi is my BF teehee! Any way tell me what you think and don't be afraid to email me at Myungi@hotmail.com ! I love getting e-mails from you guys!


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